I know, I’ve been a very bad blogger and I haven’t even responded to the emails that people have sent to check up on me (sorry Chloe, there is one coming back very shortly). I’ve had some drama’s dealing with the monster as you all know, but that is finally finished. I can’t post about it here, but for those who want the details, just email me and I can share them there.
Speaking of emails, I have changed my email address to lisajane@hisbliss.com. So, if you could all change that for me it would be much appreciated. Even shoot me a quick email, so that I can add you all to my new address book. My outlook express decided to crap itself and I pretty much lost everything.
Like I said, I’ve been missing in action. Things are going really well at home with Michael and I. We are sticking together through thick and thin and like we’ve always said, its Him and I against the world and that will never change. We have just been trying to deal with everything around us. Kids, me being at school, him heading back to work after being home with me for six months, life in general. None of it has been easy, but all of it has been worth it.
I just haven’t felt like blogging. I got tired of having to password shit to keep the monster out and most of it, I just wanted to keep to myself. Everytime I opened this page, I just looked at it and went ummm yeah, nah and closed it again. I’ve been internalizing everything and I think now I am ready to start blogging again.
I know the monster keeps reading here. I don’t know what it is she thinks she will find here, but I am tired of not blogging and passwording things just to keep her out. Don’t get me wrong, there will still be passworded posts, but she really shouldn’t flatter herself if she thinks that I am going to talk about her.
I’ve finally taken my doctors advice and have been seeing a psychologist. It’s early days yet, but I am liking her and she is giving me some great ideas to cope with the things that are troubling me the most. The situation with my parents is going slowly but I’m happy with that. We have gone from passing messages thru my sister to leaving messages for each other on facebook. Nothing deep and meaningful, just cheery little hello’s and stuff, but its a start and none of us are wanting to rush this.
I’ve been spending time with my sister and her lovely wife. They are so happy together and it’s awesome to see her that way. They are in the middle of IVF at the moment so they can have their first baby together and my fingers are crossed for them. I know nothing would make them happier than to have a child together.
I have my own secrets brewing. Michael and I are planning something. It’s not going to happen right away and there are some things that have to be done and goals that will have to be reached before it happens, but once they are done, our secret plan can move forward and then I will share it all with you, so until then, you’ll just have to keep guessing at what it is.
I can’t promise that I will be back to blogging every day. But I will be blogging a little more often and commenting a whole lot more. Basically, I am still alive and kicking, enjoying my life with my children and the love of my life.
Today, was the day my beautiful daughter Montana Cassidy Nella Macumber was born. At 9.07am, they lifted her from my stomach and placed her in my arms. And that was the moment my life came together. Everything bad was gone and all that I could focus on was the good.
And from that day forward, she has been the love of my life and we’ve been inseperable. She’s been my constant support and inspiration and I love her with every fibre of my being.
My beautiful first born Rhiannon Therese has taken up modelling and these are some of the newest shots. To say that I am a proud momma is an understatement. Anyhow, enjoy the shots and I’ll be back with a more substantial post later
And he is one of the best blessings I’ve ever been given and this song, from the new Keith Urban CD, reminds me so much of our relationship that I wanted to share it here.
Well I know there’s a reason
And I know there’s a rhyme
We were meant to be together
That’s why—-
We can roll with the punches
We can stroll hand in hand
And when I say it’s forever
You understand—
That you’re always in my heart,
You’re always on my mind
But when it all becomes too much,
You’re never far behind
And there’s no one that comes close to you
Could ever take your place
Cause only you can love me this way
I could have turned a different corner
I could have gone another place
Then I’d of never had this feeling
That I feel today, yeah..
And you’re always in my heart,
Always on my mind
When it all becomes too much,
You’re never far behind
And there’s no one that comes close to you
Could ever take your place
Cause only you can love me this way
Ooooh…
And you’re always in my heart,
You’re always on my mind
And when it all becomes too much,
you’re never far behind
And there’s no one that comes close to you
Could ever take your place
Cause only you can love me this way
3 March 1970
Your date of conception was on or about 10 June 1969 which was a Tuesday.
You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Pisces.
Your Life path number is 5.
Your fortune cookie reads:
You find beauty in ordinary things, do not lose this ability.
Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 9.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 8.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 6, 11 & 22.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2440648.5.
The golden number for 1970 is 14.
The epact number for 1970 is 22.
The year 1970 was not a leap year.
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/6/1970 and ending 1/26/1971.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dog.
Your Native American Zodiac sign is Wolf; your plant is Plantain.
You were born in the Egyptian month of Pachons, the first month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).
Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 25 AdarI 5730.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 26 AdarI 5730.
The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.17.16.10.4 which is
12 baktun 17 katun 16 tun 10 uinal 4 kin
The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Tuesday, 24 Dhi’l-Hijjih 1389 (1389-12-24).
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 29 March 1970.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 26 April 1970.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 11 February 1970.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 17 May 1970.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 24 May 1970.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 1 October 1970.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 21 April 1970.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 10 February 1970.
As of 4/2/2009 6:38:29 AM EDT
You are 39 years old.
You are 469 months old.
You are 2,039 weeks old.
You are 14,275 days old.
You are 342,606 hours old.
You are 20,556,398 minutes old.
You are 1,233,383,909 seconds old.
Celebrities who share your birthday:
Jessica Biel (1982) Jackie Joyner-Kersee (1962) Herschel Walker (1962)
Ira Glass (1959) James Doohan (1920) Jean Harlow (1911)
Alexander Graham Bell (1847)
Top songs of 1970
Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel I’ll Be There by Jackson Five
Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head by B.J. Thomas Close to You by Carpenters
My Sweet Lord by George Harrison I Think I Love You by Partridge Family
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Diana Ross American Woman by Guess Who
War by Edwin Starr Let It Be by Beatles
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 5.58708414872798 years old. (You’re still chasing cats!)
Your lucky day is Thursday.
Your lucky number is 3 & 7.
Your ruling planet(s) is Jupiter & Neptune.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Virgo.
Your opposition number(s) is 5.
Today is not one of your lucky days!
There are 335 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 40 candles.
Those 40 candles produce 40 BTUs,
or 10,080 calories of heat (that’s only 10.0800 food Calories!) .
You can boil 4.57 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1970 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1970 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1970 in the US there were approximately 2,158,802 marriages (10.6%) and 708,000 divorces (3.5%)
In 1970 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.
In 1970 the population of Australia was approximately 12,663,469.
In 1970 there were approximately 257,516 births in Australia.
In 1970 in Australia there were approximately 116,066 marriages and 12,198 divorces.
In 1970 in Australia there were approximately 113,048 deaths.
Your birth flower is DAFFODIL
Your birthstone is Aquamarine
The Mystical properties of Aquamarine
Aquamarine is often used to experience love and mercy. It is said to help ease depression and grief.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Jade, Rock Crystal, Bloodstone
Your birth tree is
Weeping Willow, the Melancholy
Beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
There are 267 days till Christmas 2009!
There are 280 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon’s phase on the day you were
born was waning crescent.
That’s what I’ve been doing of late. And I am so fucking tired of it and I know that Lia will be after me for my potty mouth, but that’s the only way I can think to say it and get across my frustration.
I’ve pretty much stopped blogging on both of my blogs. I censor what I write and I hide the real me and show people the me that I think they want to see.
BUT….
I have some lovely friends out there in the blog world and they love me for WHO I am, not what I am and most certainly not what I look like. Most of these lovely women are figure competitors or past competitors who look amazing, who come across as full of confidence and like they belong up there. And they are among the group who accept me for who I am.
Warts and all.
I am so tired of feeling like I have to conform to what society and other people think I am supposed to look like. I’m not one of the lucky ones who manages to eat what they want and still look good. I have to work my ass off in the gym and even then I still struggle to lose weight. I have about 50 kilos to lose and this is the first time that I have ever admitted it publicly.
The question is why?
Because I’m ashamed of the condition I am in. I am ashamed to admit that nobody did this to me, but me.
How is that for a confession?
The other reason for my walking on eggshells is the ex monster and the fact that she scours my blogs and tries to glean every single piece of information she can from them and that not only annoys me but it bothers me.
It bothers me because I know she is not brave enough to face a fight without playing dirty or what she believes is dirty. I know she thinks I’m fat. No surprise there. Because I am. I know she thinks it’s funny to talk about me and my weight problems behind my back. I know she doesn’t hesitate to slander me to anyone that will listen and then try to twist their feelings to make them hate me before they even lay eyes on me.
I have no doubt that I am the butt of many of her jokes. And up until today it bothered me. It bothered me greatly and I don’t mind confessing that I’ve shed many tears over it. I shouldn’t but I do. Why? Because again, I’m human and if you cut me, I’ll bleed.
But today has been the turning point. Not only for me, but for Michael as well, because both of us are tired of walking on eggshells around ex’s, around kids, around anyone who wants to get in the way.
How sad is your life, if you have to talk about someone’s weight and make them the butt of your jokes when you don’t even know the person you are talking about.
So let’s put it out there shall we?
The photo’s on my face book are not me. I have never professed that they were. And I have never had any intention of doing so. I don’t have my photo up there because I don’t have many photo’s of me that I actually like and in the beginning I never really cared to much about what people thought. Now that I have made friends with a lot of the people on my list, I feel they have the right to know the truth.
I’M FAT. VERY FAT. FATTER THAN I SHOULD BE. BUT NOT AS FAT AS I WAS A FEW YEARS AGO.
I don’t use people’s weight, their looks, their dress sense or their skin colour against them. Why? Because I know what it’s like to have it done to me. And I wouldn’t want to cause anyone that pain.
I have bi-polar.
Wow, who doesn’t have a mental illness these days?
I take medication for it, my doctor and my psychologists monitor it and my husband helps me deal with it as well. God forbid I should be allowed out in public or around children, perhaps it would be safer to lock me up and throw away the key.
I have to work hard to keep my eating under control and I am sure that I’m not the only person who confesses to that. I am sure there are many, many people out there who have the same problem. I guess there are just some out there who think they are perfect but they need to remember that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
Should they?
I have to work hard in the gym and I do. I am not one of the gym girlies who wears make up and doesn’t sweat. I train with my husband and he pushes me hard. Yes I sweat in there, I stomp my feet and I even grunt and groan like a meat head. Good lord above. Somebody alert the media.
Am I coming across as sarcastic? Because I’m not trying to. Much.
All I know is this.
I’m fat. I need to lose weight and I am. Not as fast as I would like but it’s happening and when it does happen it will stay off. I’m not perfect, I won’t ever claim to be. My husband doesn’t like bigger women, so I’m lucky that he loves me enough to help me lose it and contrary to popular belief I’m not doing it to keep him. I’ve never been the whiney, sooky kind of woman who needs a man to make me feel fulfilled. I have bi-polar and I manage it as best I can.
So if people think that I am going to censor my posts for the sake of one person anymore, then they are dead fucking wrong. This is my blog and I’ll say whatever the fuck I like. As long as I don’t denigrate anyone here, then there is nothing anyone can do or say.
So *I* am going back to my happy place and my happy life and my wonderful but at times stressful relationship with my Michael. The people who come here and read and don’t like what they say better use the big red X in the corner and just piss off before their poor teeny feelings get hurt. And they best not let the door hit them in the ass on the way out. Cos last time I checked *I* controlled my life. If reading about my less than perfect life takes the heat off the monsters than hey, I’m glad to help. Cos I have something that they won’t ever have.
And that is Michael’s love and that’s just the way it is. Not to mention the gorgeous group of women I call my friends.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to take my fat ass off to cook dinner. Cos I am gonna win the bet I have with my husband at the end of the week. Ed Hardy jeans here I come.
And I have crossed some broken bridges in my time…
There are bridges on life’s highway
But we never see them there
Some cross troubled waters
Some don’t go nowhere
Some you wouldn’t step on
If you’re trying to save your soul
One comes with a keeper
When it’s time to pay the toll
Some aren’t meant to last forever
Some are made of stone
Some are meant to cross together
Some you go alone
Some the slightest wind can send them
Crashing to the ground
I set our bridge on fire
But I could not burn it down
And here I am
Praying for forgiveness
And I can see you
Standing on the other side
And here I go (here I go)
Baby, it’s a heavy load (it’s a heavy load)
And I have crossed some broken bridges in my time
Now here I am (now here I am)
Praying for forgiveness.
(Praying for forgiveness)
I can see you (oh, I can see you)
Standing on the other side
(Standing on the other side)
Here I go (now here I go)
And buddy it’s a heavy load
(Baby, it’s a heavy load)
And I have crossed some broken bridges in my time
(Crossed some broken bridges in my time)
Yes, I have crossed some broken bridges in my time
